I’m natural and I’m never going back….again!

I started my natural hair journey in June 2010 and I continued down the natural path until June 2015. In 2015, I put a perm in my hair so that I could make it through basic training without having to struggle with my natural hair. It was manageable but let’s just say the perm didn’t take all the way, so my hair looked crazy for 3 months. During, the first 5 years natural (it seems like such a long time) I put heat toward it. I also did not do everything I could to have healthy growth. 

I then went on to training for 2 more months and then overseas  for a year. So around that time I decided to grow my hair back again. I did everything wrong, while I transistioned. I used heat, I barley detangled my hair and I wore so much gel it could be used as a helmet. In November 2016, I said enough and did the big chop, so I had maybe 15 months of new growth but I cut more then I should on some parts and my front was a bit damaged from the heat, so I cut even more.

Again, I started off bad again. I have to wear my hair in a bun for the most part, so that’s how I kept it from November 2016 until a few months ago. From the buns pulling my edges out, I also got braids and that didn’t help any. I did deep condition and use the right products but I had to go and repair once again.

So here I am presently, restarting my journey the right way. I have a regimen that I follow and it seems to be working wonderfully. I am happy with the growth and it’s only been a few months. I know the length my hair is capable of and with a healthy regimen, I will surpass that length.

I will not go back to perms because I regretted it a great deal. If I want it straight I know how to do so and there is no chemicals involved. I know just wear in 4 braids with my natural hair.

Here is a few pictures of my hair over the years. The first 3 are from my first big chop. The cover photo and the last is my hair currently. As you can see my hair stayed shoulder length because of the heat and being sisscor happy!

How to be successful in life: 3 things you must do.

This will probably be me rambling on but in my mind and experience, I believe I figured it out. There are probably better words to choose from in order to be successful but I am going to choose three that are relevant to me.

I have read so many articles or watched a lot of those inspirational videos on Youtube and I understood what each one was conveying but I was never able to use it in my daily life. As far as I could remember, I would wonder why my peers were always more successful then me. Why was it so easy for them to do so much and surpass me every time. I would study but there was always someone to receive a better grade. I practiced my music but of course the next person could play better. The one that is clawing at me today is promotions in the work place. I do everything right, so why am I still in the current position? Let’s add the gym as well. Sure I go and on most days I eat very healthy but I see no results.

I had an Aahaa moment and it was not like I didn’t know how to be successful. I knew it because I was taught it by a plethora of people but it just never kicked in. I only kicked myself when I started watching others achieve all that I dreamed. To understand, I had to put it in my own words and write it down.

So you ask what are the ways to be successful? Like anything in life, it will require a lot of hard work. For me it will be very hard in the beginning but I think I can manage.

First you will need to be Consistent: I have set probably 100 goals, in just this pass year for myself. My goals consisted of: going to the gym every day and becoming toned, get a promotion, learn Spanish, save thousands and earn my bachelors degree. None of those goals are so far left that they are unattainable, so why haven’t I accomplished any of them. I would create the goal and maybe a week or a month later I would loose focus. I would stop being consistent and I would tell myself, I’ll do it tomorrow or I’ll restart next month. Instead of sticking to it, I stopped. If I thought about it, I would have been toned by now if I kept to it in January. My promotion would have happened, if I stuck to my goals and I would have saved more money, if I didn’t buy that gift or hair products. It’s all about staying consistent and sticking to your goals. Never create a goal that is unattainable. Saving thousands is attainable, if you stop purchasing things that are not needed. I do save more then I spend now. Out of all of my goals, this is the one that will be reached. It took me longer then expected but I’ve kept to it. If I would have been a little more consistent, I would have surpassed my goal.

 

Second you will need to be Determined: Do you really want to achieve your goal or is it something someone else wants you to do ? Or are you just setting unrealistic goals? If you say yes to those, then you may have a hard time. You have to be determined to reach your goal. I’ve learned if you half (butt) your work then you will not see any results.  There is no reason to keep going if you won’t give it 100%. The saying go hard or go home is very relevant when it comes to being successful. The gym members you see with the bulging muscles or the flat abs, did not gain those muscles just by saying I’ll go for a week and then 2 weeks I’ll take a break and maybe I’ll just start again next month. This is what I do, I’ll lift weights and then I’ll do the right number of sets and sometimes I’ll lower the weights to make it easier. It doesn’t work that way, if I want to have muscles, you have to put all of your energy towards it, even if it sucks for 30 seconds. I can guess that, all of gym members, set a goal for themselves and said no matter what I will accomplish this goal. Say it’s work related, and you drip it in your head, I will get promoted this month! I will work harder and no matter the long nights it will happen. If your determined to win or determined to reach your goals it will happen. This is something that you need to be successful. You can not win if you give up every time.

Lastly you you will need to be Confident: I wonder if I am the only person that struggles with this. Every successful person had some sort of confidence, when their goals were met. Let’s face it, in the world today if you are not confident,in your everyday actions, people will focus on someone else who is confident. You can be the smartest person, but if your confidence is lacking it will be hard to move forward. My promotion, calls for a confident person, who could lead others and get the mission done. Yes, I know what I must do but my confidence is weak at times. I can be a very passive person and that to people means I am not confident in what I do. Out of these 3 tips, this is my hardest one to achieve. Standing up in front and allowing others to see me and possibly judge me, I rather hide in the back. I know that I can’t do this, so I have to just shut down everything else and not care what others think. We are here to make mistakes and with those mistakes you will gain confidence.

All three of these steps go hand in hand. Once you have your goals set and you continue to follow your steps, each step will be followed with determination to succeed and confindence will come naturally. I believe when you know something very well, you will do better, not only on that goal but personally. For example, I am working hard in the gym and I start to see muscles that I never had before. Not only, will I feel confident in my work out abilities but in myself as well. I know that if I had a flat stomach with abs, I would be happier when it came time to choose a bathing suit. I also know that, when I reach my goals at my job and learn as much as possible, I will feel more confident leading and standing in the front.

Maybe, these steps won’t work for you but in my eyes they are very important. They are based on my experience and I will continue to follow.

Can you see the beauty in it?

Can you see the beauty in it?

I know I can. I can see that person who may have been looked down upon or pushed away. I see the beauty in them regardless of what others think. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I would have to agree. Is appearance everything or is what’s inside the most important?

I can see the beauty in the earth, the flowers that surround me and the beautiful vista that I am lucky enough to encounter. I beat myself up because I want to see so much but I know I need to find the time. What if I miss my opportunity to see all that the world has to offer!

I see the beauty in it because it’s in me. I am finding my true calling and I can’t ignore the beauty in the world. The many cultures and countries that I would enjoy seeing. The beauty to me is having a open heart and accepting all that life has to offer. Travel the world and have no regrets!

Photos that I took in South Korea. A very beautiful country with amazing people as well.

 

You never truly know a person…

Until you actually talk to them. When you get to know a person and not just their outer selves, they can sometimes give you a different perspective on life.

There is a girl that I am starting to know well. I can assume things based on the outside but I know there is more to her. She stays to herself most of the time but she does have a few close friends. She hides behind her smile and looks away so no one can see her imperfections. Are they imperfections or is it her true beauty? I would say it’s her beauty, her beauty that draws people to her even though she is always said to be shy, quiet, awkward or anti-social. She can’t see that though, I hope that she will someday.

You never truly know a person until you talk to them. Maybe they have a story that they want to share or maybe they don’t. There is this girl that I am starting to know so well. She has a lot of goals and could talk for days about each one. Travel the world she says, start a business or even get married one day. I look at her and her excitement draws me in and I now see her confindence. Does she know she can do all that she sets her mind to? Just as fast as she list her dreams she tears them down in the same breath. How can someone dream so big but feel as if they can accomplish nothing?

There is this girl that I am starting to know well. Wow is she smart and learns so fast.  She really knows her job so well. I am glad she knows her job so well and I can’t find any faults. She tells me it’s hard for her every day just to do her every day job. On the outside I can only see the great things that she has done. In reality it’s a struggle for her. To see other people do so well and make it seem so easy. She gets distracted by their accomplishments and forgets about her own. It seems to me it’s hard for her to take a compliment. Why is that? Can she not see all that she has done? You never truly know a person until you talk to them. Her confidence is weakened everyday by difficulties in life. I tell her that life will seem hard maybe for minutes, hours or days but it will make you stronger in the end.

You never truly know a person until you talk to them. There is this girl that I am starting to know so well. She has it all, beautiful, smart, she has a great heart and the world is hers to take. She tells me one day how she wants to travel, to be confident, to move up in her job and she tells me everything she must do. Word for word, she already knows exactly what she should do. I tell her it sounds great and I am proud of her. She pauses and ask me how, how do I do it? Confused, I can only give her a puzzled look. She tells me she knows everything to do but can never completely do it. She lets her fears come in the way of her goals. She would rather step back and allow someone else the position, so she would not be judged if she messed up. I tell her we all will make mistakes and she will grow from it. She agrees and I see the spark in her eyes again.

There is a girl that I am starting to know very well. This girl is me. Or should I say this woman is me. Everyday I look in the mirror and the negative thoughts can take over but deep down I pull myself back up. I remember the talks with my friends and family and I’m willed back to thinking good thoughts. I am not perfect and I don’t know everything but I do know if you stick to your dreams they will come true. I also know that you never truly know a person, unless you talk to them.